The Leaves in November
Nov. 30th, 2008 08:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vdanskHope is such harder work than it's advertised.
Mom was less than a week from coming home when she fell and broke her leg. She'll be non-weight-bearing for 4-6 weeks, then it's rehab all over again.
My little sister says that she's learning to compartmentalize her life, to only worry and grieve during certain times during the day. I guess I'm doing the same, but my temper with my kids is a lot shorter than I'd like.
And if not for LARPing, I'd be on Prozac already.
So looking at my life...I've got my husband and kids, who are terrific. I've got a great job, if far too much of it, and wonderful job security due to a complete lack of primary care providers in the pipeline. I bought my house before the housing bubble. I have two creative outlets, Prophecy (LARP) and Pern (StarRise writing club). I have a loving extended family, who truly care about each other. If there is a better situation to face one's parent's mortality and the increasing likelihood of being orphaned in the imaginable future...well, it would be greedy to ask for more. If we are blessed, all of our children will someday be orphaned. If parents were given only one wish, one prayer, it would be that.
So I'm trying to take it a day at a time, and to treasure the good in every day. And to continue to hope, even when hope is an act of willful defiance.
Mom was less than a week from coming home when she fell and broke her leg. She'll be non-weight-bearing for 4-6 weeks, then it's rehab all over again.
My little sister says that she's learning to compartmentalize her life, to only worry and grieve during certain times during the day. I guess I'm doing the same, but my temper with my kids is a lot shorter than I'd like.
And if not for LARPing, I'd be on Prozac already.
So looking at my life...I've got my husband and kids, who are terrific. I've got a great job, if far too much of it, and wonderful job security due to a complete lack of primary care providers in the pipeline. I bought my house before the housing bubble. I have two creative outlets, Prophecy (LARP) and Pern (StarRise writing club). I have a loving extended family, who truly care about each other. If there is a better situation to face one's parent's mortality and the increasing likelihood of being orphaned in the imaginable future...well, it would be greedy to ask for more. If we are blessed, all of our children will someday be orphaned. If parents were given only one wish, one prayer, it would be that.
So I'm trying to take it a day at a time, and to treasure the good in every day. And to continue to hope, even when hope is an act of willful defiance.
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no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 04:28 am (UTC)Those are words to live by here, my dear. :) The bad times never stay, but you still wonder when they'll end.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-01 05:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-12-02 12:17 am (UTC)*HUGE HUG*
no subject
Date: 2008-12-02 04:18 am (UTC)It's kind of like it has been with my Grandma. I think I've been mourning her ever since my Grandpa died,
Is your mother at least able to get out of bed and move on crutches, or is she bedridden?
Chantal
Mom
Date: 2008-12-02 02:27 pm (UTC)Re: Mom
Date: 2008-12-02 07:47 pm (UTC)I know I would be going stir-crazy to get out of bed, and it weakens you so, to be stuck there even for a short time. I remember I was once in the hospital and was in bed for just three days. My legs were so wobbly when I was let out of bed, I couldn't believe it. I hope the physical therapists can at least help your Mo9m exercise her good leg.
Your poor stepDad must be pretty frustrated at this, too. :(
Chantal